The calm quickly turned into the storm...

Pictures: 4/1/09

Adventures In Teaching: Casimir Pulaski - Part 2

The second day at Pulaski was much different then the first. Geoff planned out a lesson for the kids to work with oil pastels. They were given black construction paper and asked to draw a big fish on it in pencil. Then they had to decorate it with the oil pastels. Pretty simple...or it should have been. 

It was a day from hell. Not one but both classes were a constant struggle. Its as if someone hopped these kids up on sugar and meth before giving them to us. Seriously. It wasn't the worst I've experienced but it was not good. Tons of loud disruptive outbursts, mean and disrespectful comments, ruined artwork and pushing and shoving. The first class was bad but the second was crazy. By days end I booted 3 kids from class, damn near 5. The last two would've gone out too had the bell not rung. I wrote up 2, count them 2 incident reports. I've never kicked people out of class before nor have I ever had to file a report but it needed to be done. Just a mess. 

The thing that bothered me most was a situation with this little guy named Julius. He's an adorable little kid. When we get to the school he is the one in charge of escorting Geoff and me to the classroom for the site coordinator. He looks up and speaks to you in a soft voice but very respectful. I noticed on Wednesday that after I was done addressing him he put his head down and walked like that. He stares at his shoes like he's super sad. It was obvious enough for me to notice and wonder why.

He was in the second class of the day. The new class of kids we hadn't had before. So we start the lesson and before long I notice Julius is not drawing. Had I not noticed his demeanor earlier I probably would've gotten irritated b/c of the actions of the class before, instead I asked him what was wrong. He told me he couldn't draw. Now mind you...we teach them using shapes...so literally ANYONE can do this lesson. He refused to believe he could do it. He'd draw a line then erase it. He sat there with his head down, looking totally depressed...not just defeated but I mean truly sad. First I gave him the pep talk. I told him to sit up and look the world in the face. He's like " I can't." I told him he could and he did for a moment. I got him to come to the teachers table with Geoff and I and showed him some examples and walked him through the first basics. It took a long time just to get him to do that but eventually it happened so I told him to go sit and color it. For a bit he perked up a little. I heard the kid next to him say his fish fin looked like a nacho...just like that Julius went back to defeated. He traced an eye and gave up. I once again went over and encouraged him to go get some different colors and finish. At this point he's an hour behind everyone else and I didn't want him to not finish and feel worse. So again Julius perks up and walks over to the girls table to get some extra colors out of a GIANT bag of pastels. He had a smile for a minute.  One lil girl made some crack and I corrected her. Julius gave me a "thank you" look until the girl made another crack of which I only heard part. Within a second he set down the bag, stepped away from the table, put his head down and walked away....right past me...right out the door. 

In the meantime the class turned to utter chaos. By the time I got to the door he was gone. Geoff was already outside in the hallway with other kids. He said Julius went to the bathroom. So I told him to go check on him...as I knew he was hiding. Julius refused to come out. I went back into class to try to get it under control and after a few minutes I stepped out into the hall again to find Julius slowly walking toward me. I took this opportunity to have a chat. I asked him if he was ready to come back and he said no. He was getting upset and holding back tears. I gave him the "You gotta stand up for yourself and prove them wrong. You can do it! Don't listen to them!" talk. He just broke down. The tears started flowing hard and I swear my heart sank to my toes. I felt sooooooo bad for him. In the middle of this two of the boys (the same that barely escaped being kicked out at the end of class) came out. At this point I was so mad at them for giving Julius a hard time I totally barked at them to go back in the class. Last thing Julius needed was them seeing him crying. I gave Julius a hug and let him cry for a bit before offering to him to go to the office or just not come back to class. He took me up on it. I walked him to the office and the site coordinator saw me. I had to give her the nod not to come over. Thankfully she understood me and allowed him to hang out in the hallway. So Julius sat there on the floor and I had to go back to class.

I checked on him a few times here and there. He was still very upset when I asked him if he wanted to come back. He said no. Fair enough. So next time I went to check on him I asked if he wanted me to bring his work into the hall for him. He said yes. SMALL VICTORY FOR ME! He stopped crying and started working on it...it made me grin. Within a few minutes he came back into class to return the supplies and get ready to go. As soon as he came back in he got quiet again, pulled his hoodie over his eyes and stood behind me while I wrote up the others students who I had kicked out. The bell rang and the kids left. When Geoff and I cleaned up and were ready to leave I noticed Julius was still leaving the school at the back of the group of loud kids. Hoodie up, walking slow, staring at the ground. Poor kid. Before I turned to walk to my car I yelled to him that I'd see him next time. He looked up surprised but promised he'd come back to the next class. Needless to say he's my favorite kid. (BTW, YES, teachers have favorites. Doesn't mean we don't care about the others but certain ones stand out. They aren't "our" children so we can have favorites!)

I was exhausted from the drama but more then anything I felt really horrible for Julius. I think its b/c I don't know why he's like that or if I can even help. Is he just insecure and in need of a boost? He is truly depressed? Is he one of the unfortunate kids that gets ignored at home or worse yet gets his ass kicked? Does he have a learning disability? It sucks b/c if me giving him that extra attention could help I'd obviously give it as I have to other students in the past. This is different though...I'm not sure if its just that need for someone that cares or if its something thats much deeper and/or requiring more serious attention. The site coordinator told me a bit about him in other classes which makes me wonder more then normal. I guess for now I'll just pay attention and see how he acts and if he changes at all. This is the frustrating part of teaching...the part where you see something but you can't really do anything about it. Oh well....I'll have to wait and see. One day at a time.